What Is The Relationship Between Love And Desire?

In today’s time, love and desire are no more hush-hush matters, rather people talk quite openly about them to understand more. Despite the fact, there are many couples who feel ample love for their partner but still experience stale sex and relationship boredom or vice versa.

What Is The Relationship Between Love And Desire?

Hence, it is important that we first learn what is the relationship between love and desire. The main reason behind this clash of love and desire in a relationship is that both are somewhat conflicting feelings.

What is love?

• Love is basically when you are too emotionally invested in your partner. For instance, you care, worry, feel responsible, and want to protect your special someone.
• When in love, you want to minimize any kind of threats from reaching your partner, reduce the distance between you both, and be nurturing.
• In short, one can say that safety is the primary goal in a love relationship.
• In comparison to the mysterious ways, uncontrollable and disconcerting effects of desire, love is simpler.
• In love, you wish to raise higher together and not just go out without thinking about the future.
• Though as consuming as desire, love has surely seen to last longer than desire.
• While desire is like an obsession, love is what we make of other people and what they make of us.
• Love is a feeling which is more selfless and concerning.

What is desire?

• Contrastingly to love, desire is more about freedom and autonomy.
• While in love you primarily care about safety, in desire you no longer want to remain in the safe premises. You wish to break off the safe boundaries and explore the non-territorial
• One can understand desire like a vague wish, a helpless obsession or a sharp craving.
• If explained in even simpler terms, then in our everyday life, desire is like that feeling which is something beyond our control.
• Desire is a confusing feeling which we don’t understand properly but it drives us beyond the bounds of our comfort zone, reasoning, logic, and habit.
• While in love, you prefer taking the safest decision, desire explodes past the borders of law, time or right and wrong.
• Desire is not something that can be toned down or captured within the confines of social expectations or structures.
• For instance, there is a common cliché when it comes to a relationship that many women like bad boys. One of the reasons is that in such a relationship, you don’t have to worry about them. Surely, you wouldn’t feel much safe, but it will definitely give you the freedom and adrenaline rush in terms of desire.

What makes love and desire contrasting?

It is not surprising to know that when there are fewer emotions involved, there is more freedom and hence less worry. One must understand that what nurtures love, is not the same as what fuels desire. Similarly, what turns us on sexually is not always what is within an emotionally safe zone. In short, while love is all about comfort and safety, at the same time desire is all about breaking those barriers and exploring other territories.

How can love and desire co-exist in a relationship?

What happens in long term relationships is that they demand more responsibility and hence less freedom. Women are expected to sideline their pleasure, even if it is something as simple as taking care of themselves and have to prioritize attending to the needs of others, be it, husband or children. In such a situation, often most of us choose love over desire because that is what we are taught to do or that is what we feel is the right thing. However, it is not always necessary to choose one out of love and desire.

The key is to maintain balance and harmony. You can break the routine, introduce some unexpected and fun activities, bring back vitality, and shake things up. Make sure to keep a bit of uncertainty, mystery, and adventure to maintain the freshness, stability, and spice of your relationship. Though a bit difficult but a balanced love and desire relationship is just like a healthy addiction.

Love is complex as it is a combination of things like intensity, caring, passion, commitment, friendship, and infatuation. There are endless benefits to a healthy partnership. So, make sure that you take the first step in identifying what is actually going on in your relationship and then do a little fine-tuning to set it on the right track.